A Trip To The Dentist

Frankly, I wasn't too terrified before going to see my dentist; I was quite excited because usually I get compliments for my white teeth. Unlike many people who would be dreading to visit their dentist for a scaling, a filling or something even more horrific, I'm perfectly okay.

It doesn't bother me that much because genetically I have pretty healthy gum and teeth. With that said, it had made me to be very lousy at my dental hygiene. Normal people brushes at least two to three times a day and they floss and they use mouth wash. Me? On my good day, I brush twice a day. On my lazy normal days, I brush in the morning only. Don't judge. I swear I don't have bad breathe. I don't floss because I don't know how. I don't use mouth wash because by swallowing the residual into my stomach made me felt sick.

Today I've kinda learnt my lesson. FYI, my dentist is probably the most amicable, kind, gentle man I've met.

He first gave me a mouth gum for my left side of the teeth to bite on, so I don't have to manually open my mouth. Very thoughtful. He immediately started with the scaling, for which I had absolutely no idea how many tubes / tweezers were in my mouth. He was scraping the gap like a gold-digger mining gold.  At first, I thought the pain was bearable, and thought yeah I can do this :) Nonono, not when he started scaling my molars, where I have been neglecting them... What, they are too far back in my mouth, my toothbrush sometimes can't reach... 

OUCH. Every scrap was soooo painful that I literally had to shut my eyes and hope to god that this will end the next second. For some sort of a support, same idea as stress balls I think, my right hand grabbed on tight on my left wrist and my legs were crossed the entire time. My dentist probably noticed I was not having too much fun. He said: "There are too much calculus between your teeth, <scrap, scale, scrap>, I don't think I am able to scale all of them out today" WHAT. "Although, your teeth and gum are quite healthy!" Okay... 

At that moment, I was literally contemplating: is this another form of revenge? Vivienne has not been putting enough effort into her daily dental hygiene, let's give her a shitload of calculus. NOT FUNNY. Whilst my dentist seems to be enjoying himself there, I was also thinking why am I paying to get hurt. Yeah yeah, for healthy teeth so I can still chew when I am eighty. Fine, I will brush twice a day and I will try to learn how to floss. Still NO mouth wash. 

One last note, I hate the nurse, especially when she was holding that stupid suction tube thing. We all understand the purpose of it is to suck the EXCESSIVE saliva / liquid, not to suck ALL the liquid. My mouth was genuinely dying from dehydration. I could feel some of my taste buds were dry. #salivapleasesendhelp

FYI, I bought a bottle of water afterwards and drank it all. 

<The End.>

Disappointment

Just how many times does one have to fail till he or she succeed. Nobody likes the feeling of fail, nobody likes to lose, especially when you tried. As much as you understand how "failing" is healthy for you and could possibly motivates you, you would still rather not to experience it. 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. True. But there is also the inevitable pain that comes with it everytime you try, and trust me, it hurts like a bitch, it hollows you from inside out. The moment you thought you were so close from the finishing line, someone just had to be one second faster than you. The sudden realization and the drastic disappointment were too much to take in. 

Your hope collapsed. 
Your heart ache. 
Your confidence were destroyed.  
You will start to wonder if you are not good enough. 

Doubting yourself is negative but it's also uncontrollable. Your brain sometimes functions on its own behalf; funny how you thought you are in charge.