The Awkwardness

I. Hate. Human. Interactions.
okay. That's too extreme. Let's pull this back a lil bit. I hate the awkwardness of getting to know new people, especially in an environment that I am unfamiliar with.

Basically, I switched job and I am trying to adapt.

How do social butterflies do it? They all say "oh you just introduce yourself and start telling them your background". Don't be absurd. My story isn't that interesting and they probably have better things to do other than listening to me rambling.

I guess I'm just rather impatient.

Similarly, I also don't like the process of getting tipsy/drunk. Hence, I always chuck a good amount of alcohol and start running around the room to speed up the alcoholism. This Is Not Recommended. Funny enough, I don't gag or puke much.

Right, human interactions.

The first month seems to be the hardest. [Beaming at everyone I meet] What should I say? I am speechless.

Ohohoh approaching lunchtime, why no one is getting up, are they gonna skip lunch, should I ask, wait wait someone's up oh no he's just going to the bathroom. [10 mins later, people gathered around a corner playing with their phones.] Where is my cue? Should I just shamelessly walk up and say hi can I join? Oh god someone please invite me. [Yay, an angel did eventually come.]

Lunch time: Should I crack a joke, nope, too early, they probably don't get it and I can't bear an awkward silence. Should I just continue to play with my phone, no, they will think I'm a boring introvert. Nonono, I'm actually hysterical. [puts away phone] Ohmygod, I am not interested in the topic but they have been talking about it for the past 20 mins oh god I'm not fitting in they are gonna exclude me soon. FML.

This is basically what I've been thinking on a daily basis for the past two weeks.

Two weeks have gone by, await the third week to come. Wish me best of luck.